Reading about a father who has killed his daughter for the sake of honour made me wince. I paused and looked at my daughter and wonder if honour is worth so much. Will this honour be the same if the daughter was not one of many other children including one or more boys? Will a father react if the daughter was the apple of his eye?
Many questions for which reason and common sense may not provide satisfactory answers. I stumbled upon a beautiful piece on mothers and daughters on Facebook, I know that my daughter and her mother would be blessed if the things mentioned would happen but to make anything happen there has to be love. In the fight for honour, love has been shown the door. I am sure that there are a set of things to do as a father of a daughter but surely in these days there should be a set of things not to do for some misguided parents.
I simply fail to understand how honour is maintained by killing the daughter. And what is honour? Honour in isolation is non-existent for the ignorant and no mirror will replace the feeling of some unknown idiot telling an honour seeker that he is honourable for any reason. I would like to think that these people who commit honour crimes are generally lacking in honour and this act of following her heart by their daughter could have been the tipping point. If a person was so honourable then this so called stain would not have stuck to them surely?
The next issue is the measure these people use to rate themselves on the honour scale, usually against one “wolf in sheep skin” who will be the opinion leader of the community and usually instigates such crimes. Weak insecure people will measure themselves against so called “pillars of honour” and find themselves not up to the mark because the measures are subjective and will be moved according to the convenience of those holding on to power. In these moments of weakness the victim is the poor daughter who is sacrificed to gain public acceptance.
Is this kind of public acceptance really needed? Is it really required that those who had little or no say in bringing up a daughter from her childhood have a say in the marital future of the girl? Despite all the outrage why do these “kangaroo courts” meting out such sentences still exist? Nirbhaya may have died at the hands of animals but this unknown girl has died a death no less and her husband was also tortured and killed. Where is the outrage? Where is everyone?
The picture above is true, wish fathers wake up to it and realize that it is not honour that will endure but love.
Images courtesy Google Images