Saturday, September 28, 2013

1 or 2? That is the question...



This post is inspired by the CBC. To clarify this is an expansion of a comment I had posted to a query on why people look for arranged marriages. While the stream of comments moved the focus away from the initial question there were some strong opinions for both sides and even some who chose the third option of simply single. As mentioned earlier this post is to expand my point and so read on…

(Disclaimer: What follows below are my hypotheses from observations and discussions. You are free to agree or disagree, to prove or to disprove as you please.)

The rule of nature is that like poles repel and unlike poles attract for magnets. In life also it may be true. Marriage works well when it becomes a supplementary union rather than a complementary union. If I am not very clear let me explain, two vanilla ice cream lovers go to an ice cream shop, you would expect one or two vanilla ice creams to be consumed by them.  This is a complementary union according to me.  Now if one vanilla ice cream and one chocolate ice cream lover go to the shop, each of them has the option of another flavour before them should they choose to share. This is a supplementary union, again according to me. Likewise two persons with the same outlook of life will have one lesser solution to a potential problem. That is what I mean by complement and supplement. As thalaivar said in a movie No 2 is better than No 1 though two may become 1.

These days in arranged marriages I have noticed that parents tend to match similar profiles in the hope that they will be more compatible with each other. While in theory it may seem fine, in reality it seems to put a lot of stress on working couples. With long hours being the norm today when both the spouses are in the same industry and in the age of equal employment both need to put in the same kind of work and then the wife usually does over time at home. In these matches, it appears the financial status and ego play a bigger role than maybe some lateral thinking.

If the saying “vaathiyaar paiyan makku” is believed then one teacher marrying another will put their progeny to undue and unwanted stress. Likewise two of a kind may be too much of a good thing. We should celebrate differences and enjoy the diversity. For this reason I am personally delighted in the increasing number of mixed marriages happening though a miniscule amount of them are arranged. Though many of these marriages again happen due to common areas usually workplace it is a start. At least similarities of caste, community, language have a chance to get ignored.

So what about me? If you wonder we complement and we supplement each other. It was the complementary things that brought us together and the supplementary things that keep us together.

Video courtesy Youtube

2 comments:

passionofasoul said...

Wonderful explanation. Loved the last para. :)

Susan Deborah said...

If the saying “vaathiyaar paiyan makku” is believed then one teacher marrying another will put their progeny to undue and unwanted stress.

Well, I just hope the above lines become null and void when it comes to our children. We like to think that we are more liberal and level-headed than other sets of parents who impose all kinds of behavioural and educational patterns on their children.

Time will say.

Joy always,
Susan