Too many unrelated any yet related incidents that happened this morning spurred this post. The first was the Metro Plus which had an account of people going to holiday spots for their weddings, the second was a talk show on radio that focussed on arranged and love marriages, the third and the final one was me giving a patient ear to a friend suffering in a broken marriage.
Ask young women for a list of their favourite movies and “Alaipayuthe” will sneak into many lists. And the reasons are obvious, most movies end with the fairy tale ending of Happily Ever After and here is a movie that starts with the premise of the Happily Ever After and goes beyond. I have a wicked smile when I watch it with the better half and the unspoken words accompanied by the glare convey so much between us. Yes it is a movie to which people find they can relate to.
Marriage then is far removed from the happily ever after aspirations, it is in fact a work in progress and a work that never gets completed in a lifetime. Sadly people spend a lot of time, effort and money for the marriage and lesser in the days ahead. The debates on the merits of an arranged marriage over a love marriage go on but the bottom line is a marriage is built on love and whether love started before or after the ceremony should become immaterial for a good marriage.
I refrain from using the term “successful marriage”, frankly I am not sure how success is defined? Success is a relative term and often comes with a trace of jealousy, the lay man defines a successful marriage as one where the couple seem to have done something as well as or better than the person making up the definition. Behind every good marriage is a lot of hard work, blood, sweat and tears, many people grow into the marriage and find that they always had the skills in them to make the marriage work. Those who lack the maturity should be aware of the requirements for marriage or beware of marriage.
The best intended advice that is usually free flowing from all around seldom works to make strained marriages work because everyone is unique and one size does not fit all. Marriage is a three legged stool - the husband, the wife, God. If you do not believe in God you can still use the analogy if you can believe that God is love…
p.s. This post came about because one marriage of a friend is on the rocks
p.p.s Go ahead and watch with a smile…