I am a little puzzled with one video that went viral recently. You may have seen it and you may agree that it makes a good point, do not stare. And yet the instances did not go along with the message, at least for me.
Let us take for the discussion the tattoo. People have many reasons for a tattoo but somewhere down the line there is exhibitionism and where would exhibitionism be without voyeurism? Surely a man / woman would not always be mentally challenged like Sanjay Ramaswamy to remind himself of his wife / husband? Then the tattoo of the name of a loved one conveys the same message to an observer as a wedding band or a thali. Art work on the bodies have many explanations but all of them would be defeated if the tattoo was not visible. So what is the point of getting offended by someone staring at a tattoo?
I remember reading somewhere that men are wired to look and stare at a woman and it is something that cannot be wished away. It can however be managed by good upbringing and also by growing up with women especially in a co-educational institution for instance. Exhibitionism and voyeurism are two sides of a coin and both go together. So can voyeurism go away if exhibitionism stops? Maybe only to a degree and that is obvious when you see the last segment where only the face of the woman was visible and the man looked at her face.
I would like to think that men stare (I will assume that women do not) when they see something that is not usual like:
- when among a crowd of normal good looking women there is one unusually gorgeous woman walking along
- when among a group of young women wearing salwars there is one girl wearing a half saree
- when in a crowd of long plaits, there is one page boy cut or vice versa
- when the average height in a crowd is five feet or so there is someone who is five ten or more
So if someone does not stand out maybe the chances of that person being stared at is lesser…
As they say normal is boring.
P.S. I have made a double take for some unusual cases and I have got THE stare from the better half for it.
P.P.S I do not approve of staring too
P.P.P.S Simple solutions like mirrors is wishful thinking
P.P.P.P.S If you are done with that video, watch this, it does make sense