Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Here and there
As promised, I will start with the IPL. This season looks to be more balanced and matches will be more evenly contested making for interesting viewing. The sore points that stick out and make the viewing painful in no particular order and my suggestions to improve viewer delight:
• The time outs that border on insanity just to accommodate ads fool no one, if it is tactical then here is my option, offer both captains a time out of 5 minutes max that they may take at their convenience like few other sports. Then it will become tactical as a captain may use it to change or break the opponents’ momentum and will add a new twist to the bikini version of cricket.
• We don’t want Ms Zinta mouthing shit every time a wicket falls, for variety she can maybe try some other profanity that cannot be lip read by the viewers
• The extraaa long discussions before, in between and after the match with a bunch of old wise men in Hindi bore you to death despite all their words of wisdom. Frankly these people are better off doing Hindi commentary on radio and do not have the camera presence or the gift of the gab to keep the weary audiences entertained
• Ms. Noodle straps who has since ditched the straps for strapless clothes and has also ditched quite a lot of weight looks a pale and tired shadow of herself and seems due for a well deserved retirement, though she seems to have become very knowledgeable about cricket over the years
• Mr. Cheeka trying to speak Hindi with a disgusting accent every time his inputs are solicited on the Super Kings
• The commentators who seem to be grinding the same flour repeatedly (you must know the Tamil proverb to appreciate this) with a few stale set phrases that makes you wish for Sidhuisms again. Try these, “this match will go down to the wire” or “like a tracer bullet” or “ho ho ho”. Thankfully Harsha is back again with his brand of speak easy that is so pleasing to the ear. More of him please.
• Ms. Duckworth and Lewis have left many a broken heart in their wake, time we find a better alternative for their algorithms or better still lets play the match again in the sun some other time.
You may have seen the “Bell Bajao” series of ads that were on TV recently. If you have missed them let me share with you the plots.
Plot 1: It basically is shot in a normal middle class colony where a few kids are playing cricket when suddenly they hear the noise of a woman wailing and her husband beating her, the kids get disturbed and then walk up to the house and ring the bell. The beating stops and after a while the door opens showing the husband, the kids ask him for their ball, he looks around and says there is no ball when the kids show him that they have the ball in hand.
Plot 2: Yet another closed door from when the sounds of wife beating resounds, suddenly the bell rings when the husband opens there is a rough looking man who asks for sugar / milk (can’t remember) when the husband returns the man has disappeared.
The ads conclude that when you hear or see domestic violence you can take a stand to stop it by doing something simple like even ringing the bell.
But people who are reading this please note that you must ring the bell of the house where the abuse is happening.
Now somebody tell this to those who are planning to strike tomorrow for a bigger case of domestic abuse.