Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Being happily married for almost two years now, it is so depressing to see and hear about my friends who have had marital disasters and now are trying various recourses for escape.
The reasons for failure include a greedy husband who considered his wife a pot of gold (he took it literally, forgetting that his wife indeed is a treasure), wives with a past and unwilling to let go and an independent professional woman who could not accept that matrimony is a two way. Maybe my list looks a little biased towards the women but the fact remains that women today are in a greater disposition to wreck marriages because of their empowerment.
Marriages may be made in heaven but I believe the reason many fail is that heaven was excluded from the marital space afterwards.
Sadly of the cases given above most were arranged marriages, where the parents did their best for their children to ensure happily ever after only to find that all good things come to an end quickly. I have a point to pick with arranged marriages, because of the way they are being done. The concept has been tried and tested and is generally workable but with the evolving times it should be adapted to the times.
One family was orthodox to the point of barring the engaged couple to meet before the wedding, sadly had they met a couple of times even under some discreet supervision my friend would have realized that his prospective spouse was not inclined towards him. Today they still do not communicate. Too much time was spent on the horror scopes and the scraps of paper hid more than they revealed.
One family went ahead and fixed the wedding on hearsay not bothering to verify the antecedents of the person. Historical baggage that could not be forsaken ended that matrimonial bliss very early.
One gold digger got through the simple discussions and never had to undergo a reference check, the marriage was fixed because the gold digger popped the question, the girls being dutiful directed him to her parents and they not knowing how to say NO jumped at the opportunity.
My heart goes out to all these “scarred singles”, to those faultless ones now against the institution of marriage. Those who have wrecked marriages and families because they were not responsible enough are despicable and should be avoided like a disease. Had they been responsible so much time, money, effort, happiness would have still remained…