Monday, October 30, 2006

Getting married

Hi! It’s been awhile since I last posted, basically because I was in a training programme that kept me occupied for a couple of days, also there was nothing interesting going on.
So I just did not bother to post till now, I’m currently suffering from acute boredom that stems from long periods of lazing around. Well this is actually the most hectic part of the month at work, but as business has been dismal there is very little to do.

After long periods of twiddling my thumbs, I decided to write the events of the days gone by. The wedding process is just starting; the first task that confronts us is the buying of the wedding and the engagement sari for D. For those in the know, the engagement is scheduled the day before the D-day. Apparently the sari shopping is a big social event and it entails calling all the close family to get together and go on the mission of sari hunting. Accordingly the big day is fixed on the 18th of this month and our entourage will comprise a minimum of 3 aunts and possibly their respective spouses, plus both our families.

The shopping list currently includes 2 saris and some jewellery that we must gift the bride, so I have scary premonitions of our entourage trooping into one of the big sari showrooms in T. Nagar in the quest for the right sari. I have had bad experiences when two women go shopping together for saris; they never are able to make up their mind. A notable incident comes to my mind where two young women raided a silk sari store for the best part of two hours trying to find the perfect sari while chivalrous me maintained an angelic smile and endured the spectacle of a harassed shop assistant trying his best to maintain his composure. Finally these above mentioned damsels trooped out of the store victorious with a DOZEN GLASS BANGLES!!!!!! So I look forward to the coming shopping quest with a lot of dread.

My only consolation is that D knows my fondness for blue and I have dropped so many subtle hints to her that I will be thrilled with any colour as long as it is blue (Duly inspired by Henry Ford). So that would narrow down the choice of colours but still it is a worrying thought. What is more worrying is the icy atmosphere that threatens to cloud the group during this event. To those of you who know the story, relations are not very cordial between both families and my family is not fully reconciled to this wedding but as they say “Time is the great healer”, I hope that things will right themselves before Christmas.

Getting married has its own share of interesting happenings, it is fun to be in love, but the realization that honeymoons don’t last forever bring me down to earth with a thud. The act of marriage is the start of a new chapter in the book of life, till date I was responsible for my actions and was enjoying the consequences of the same, but soon I will be responsible for not just my actions but hers’ also and the consequences thereof. Responsibilities get doubled and you cannot afford to live the same happy go lucky life like before, but the joy of being married I guess will be enough compensation. Looking forward to it….

Wish me luck!!!!

Monday, October 23, 2006

Festival follies

How do you explain the callous indifference of some people? It was on the night of Deepavali, after a long day at our church (we were having the festival of the patron saint of the church on the same day) I was retiring for the night. It was a thoroughly satisfying and strenuous day so my bed was so inviting and I tried to sleep.

My reverie was interrupted by D who called for our customary night call that stretches for an hour on an average; we find enough to talk and  burn the networks and keep Mr. Sunil Bharti Mittal happy on the regular revenues we provide. Coming back to the topic my sleep talk was interrupted by some fireworks that were bright and beautiful. As the curfew of 10 PM was already crossed I thought that these may be the last for the night. I was sadly mistaken as for  the next half an hour I was rudely jolted by the loudest crackers possible, it was already past 11 PM.

I was jolted out of my slumber and irritated to the core by this disturbance, I went to the house whose occupants (they seem to have originated from the north of the Vindhyas) were making all the noise. The entire extended family had assembled on the road in their best clothes and dazzling jewellery. The patriarch a respectable looking old man was overlooking his merrymaking flock at the late hour.

Keeping my temper under check I asked the relic if he was aware of the time they were making this unwelcome racket, apparently none of them had a watch or none of them bothered to check the time. So I patiently told them that the party was over, it was beyond curfew and they can wind up.

The relic was not too happy at being interrupted by me nor were any of his flock, they gave me a disdainful look and went about their work. That was it! I let them listen to my choicest verbal abuse, I reminded the relic his responsibilities and also how they were going against the law. I told them that they should celebrate their festival with the goodwill and blessings of their friends and family while now they were getting the curses of so many disturbed souls.

Stung to the core the relic agreed to shut down and I retraced my steps home, hardly had I gone a few feet when one of the kids set off a 1000 wala. I waited till the explosions stopped before I let my verbal abuse fly at them. This time I did not hold back or think about decorum or decency. The threat of a police complaint finally made them realize that I meant business and they wound up their show and went it.

My question is, so many people were subjected to this harassment by these mindless goons yet they choose to silently endure. Why do we get scared from claiming our right? Our right to a peaceful undisturbed sleep has been granted by the courts. Yet we endure such misdeeds in silence. We all suffer from the “Why me” syndrome, don’t you realize you morons, if you sit on your backside, you loose. I got up from my bed and went and fought for my right to sleep in peace, the result, I got peace for the entire block. If every one of us gets conscious of his / her rights and claims them, the eventualities are mind boggling.

Think about it!


Friday, October 20, 2006


Hi! I was wondering about the sudden writer’s block that seems to have seized me. I had started writing a post on more than 2 occasions only to have scrapped them after a few lines. So this is my third attempt let us see if the third time lucky funda works.

I have posted earlier about bad driving and its consequences well the earlier post was more on the negative aspects of it but I have noticed lately that there is also a positive spin-off to this, however on a purely personal front. The indiscipline on the road by a few morons is teaching me patience and self control.

Previously, whenever somebody drives rashly or does something that makes my blood boil the immediate reaction from me would be to bad mouth the offender with some choicest terms. My personal favourite roughly translated would mean “customer of death”. My blood boils when I see one of these customers choosing my car to commit hira kiri or something similar. I go into a tirade abusing the offender with do you not have any other vehicle to die… (You get the idea) and another phrase borrowed from the auto drivers of Chennai, (this is priceless when heard in Tamil) “have you informed at home that this is your last journey”.

However such outbursts distracted my concentration and increased my blood pressure and really put my day off every time. So when I made it a habit to drop D to office (its become a daily routine, we get to talk only during these drives, poor us) everyday this behaviour of mine really put her off. After watching me for a few days she made me promise to stop swearing else dire consequences….. The consequences were sufficiently dire enough for me to keep a check on my words. So often I ended up biting my tongue instead of screaming at yet another reckless driver. (You might see my tongue all scarred!), next she keeps a restraining hand on my hand every time I get irritated. This never fails to cool me off.

Of late I have mellowed to a great level on the road, cursing silently at any idiot who offends me with his recklessness and apparently whistling away my anger. This has immensely reduced my irritable nature and ensures that I don’t start work on the wrong foot. I am keeping my temper under check and also learning the virtue of patience. By constantly talking to myself about restraint and self control I am discovering a newer side of me.

Finally, all said and done, you cannot teach old dog new tricks, so while I am well behaved when D is there, I do drive alone and if ever you hear me screaming “Saavugrakki, veetila solittu vanthuteya” don’t tell D.



Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Talk show(s) ignorance

Hi, just the other day I happened to see the trailer of yet another talk show on one of the vernacular TV channels. This had a bunch of people divided about the issue of women’s clothing or more specifically the current trend of immodest dressing of women.

The trailer was enough for me to change channels and I was fortunate to escape from the slow torture of listening to certain idiots discuss an “earth shattering” topic with the eagerness of monkeys over a bunch of bananas.

I do feel that a good talk show that is unbiased, not stage managed and has a good panel of speakers will definitely throw valuable insights into topics of importance and value, and I do watch a notable talk show of a currently famous female TV journalist. Anyway before I wander from the topic on hand this post was inspired by D, who endured through the talk show and chose to update me on the same.

So the airtime was devoted to talking about rising hem lines and plunging necklines, but will these people have so much enthusiasm to talk about the BPL or below poverty line people in our cities? So let’s just jump into the topic, apparently (lot of info is from a secondary source thankfully as I was fortunate enough to skip the show) a few moral crusaders objected to women and young girls dressing in skimpy and provocative clothes and how such behavior is non conforming to our culture and ethos and how such people would corrupt the minds of the youth. YAWN!!!!

The girl brigade that was in favour of such clothing launched a spirited counter attack on how they knew what they were doing and they had no need for such moral policing. The jibes and counter jibes were thrown back and forth. It was painful to hear certain women condemning their own ilk for such scandalous attire.

Without wasting too much time on the events let me just take the privilege to make my observations:

Clothing is a personal issue and I would not like to be lectured by anybody about what I wear by anyone who has no bearing on me and I assume so would most women
I buy clothes with my hard earned money or wear clothes bought by my parents of their hard earned money; if you want me to change what I wear then you better buy me the same. Ladies if the moral police are so generous and well being then I recommend you go along, you will surely build up a new wardrobe for free
If the girl, her parents, her spouse find the attire acceptable then there is no justification for anyone else to differ in their opinion, if they do they can just take a hike to cool off.
I do not think that the crime rate against women will go parallel to their clothi g sensibilities and so this idea that provocative clothing instigates eve teasing and assault on women is a crude excuse to justify the carnal instincts in some men. Veiled women are equally vulnerable to sexual assault as a woman in a strap top.
We have dress codes for different places and while some are appropriate some border on ridicule, the dictats of the current VC of Anna University are worthy of mention

Personally I believe our women have their own reason and sensibilities and they know what is right and wrong. They are able to balance home, work, study and so many more and are becoming successes in all. Surely they will know how to balance their attire.

A notable point of mention to one topic of the TV debate where a girl queried about the status of the underprivileged who are naked for want of clothes who abound in our cities will the moral brigade even lift their finger to do anything about it? Will the moral brigade advocate strict punishments for perpetrators of crime against women? I believe that the death penalty could be a strong deterrent against such crimes.
I am reminded of a hard hitting dialogue in a recent Tamil movie where the hero remarks the killer of a deer goes to prison while killers of men go scot free….

With reference to my earlier posts if you cannot do something about the problem SHUT UP! Don’t be a pain in the ass for others who are trying to solve it.

And also it is my opinion that most of the men and women who came on the show are victims of sour grapes, the women who they know will never wear such clothes (some women are plain jealous they cant wear them ) so such clothes are bad because it itches them so much when their neighbour wears it! : )

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Love in the hospital

Hi! When you go out with your fiancée you would probably go the normal hangouts like coffee shops, cinemas, beach etc. I have been to a few of the above mentioned (the cinema plan kept backfiring every time) and have gone on long drives several times. I must add that these drives will possibly tell a lay observer how I tend to drift at times.
Anyway coming back to the current topic, I find that the most eventful hangouts for me are visits to the Doc with her. Now don’t get any funny ideas, it just so happens that my dearly beloved is very fragile physically and some how contrives to injure herself. At this juncture I have to admit her first visit to a bone specialist was necessitated by me, when my attempt to hold her hand lovingly somehow became a painful event that resulted into a swollen ring finger of the left hand. My dearly beloved also has this irritating habit of self medication and postponed visiting the doc till it became a necessity. So started my periodic visits. Oh we bonded so well during the visits, chivalry just oozes out from the manly race when the fair damsel is in distress, and you will not know how effective a comforting shoulder can be when some one is in pain. So few painful visits and comforting shoulders later, mademoiselle again contrived to inexplicably fall down and hurt herself without any external stimulus. And yet again she deferred the visit to the doc till the point of unbearable pain. Then she visits a "specialist" from a branded "Bone & Joint specializing” hospital. Their competencies made me wonder if they know their business for they seemed very clueless to a lot of things. Anyway after a couple of visits and burning money on visits and medications (her dad grumbled at the bills as they are still on his account!) later without any noticeable improvements the light dawned on her that a visit to the good old bone doctor who treated her was inevitable. So we have started the visits, the doctor in question has a fond desire to see his patients daily ( I suspect he gets bored otherwise) so it is now a daily activity that has altered my working calendar. But I'm not complaining, this is what love is all about. I'm sure that she will do the same for me any day and it is sure fun, if we ignore the pain. You should try it, holding the hand of the invalid, taking care of her and being a dutiful husband in waiting. At the end of it all the loving look which she gives you speaks a million unspoken words that are priceless.

Hmmmm looks like its time for me, oops our next appointment. See you soon.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Man in the mirror

I have been a fan of Michael Jackson since my school days, he is definitely the king of pop. During the glory days of thriller and bad, I just used to sing along without much thought as to what was being sung. Years have passed and now recently when I happened to listen to MJ certain words of a song struck a chord in my heart, they go "I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways, and no message could have been any clearer, if you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make that change..."

Very powerful words with a deep meaning, how often we have heard the world is bad etc etc. Not a day will pass until we hear some one complaining about the poor infrastructure, bad roads, cleanliness, pollution, corruption and many of the ills that plague the world around. I think its time to wave a red flag and say STOP right there! It is your right to express you opinion about something that concerns you, but what have you done about it the problem?

How many times have we seen well educated, well mannered people with high social standing complaining in public fora about the civic problems plaguing us and the next moment do not have the slightest remorse in throwing a recently used paper cup on the road. Just today we saw that the recently concluded local body elections having such ridiculously low voter turnout. The same middle class that will not hesitate to condone, criticize the politicians will just sit on their backsides , twiddling their thumbs watching a tear jerker soap on the tv on their day off and just ignore the future of the city. Then tell me what bloody right do these people have to complain?

Do these people know the consequence of their foolishness, booths including the one in which I voted were captured by anti- socials, bogus voting happened and as these idiots did not vote a criminal will occupy the seats of power. I am so angry, I don’t deserve this and I'm sure none of you either.

Now do you think the city will get any better? It won’t, because acts of commission pf ours like littering, encroaching, power thefts etc etc shake the foundations of society and the acts of omissions like not getting involved in social action, politics, elections etc destroy the last traces of goodness.

We are living in an insular world, "I care two hoots to the world, If I'm ok, its enough". We are so insensitive to the world around. We do so much damage to the world that we have borrowed from our descendants by our acts of commission and omission, and yet nobody wants to accept it. Its time we stopped blaming others for what we are equally liable. The accomplice to the crime is equally guilty. If we have abetted wrongs in our presence just by turning a blind eye to it or have been a party to it, pause for a moment and reflect if this is right. If we have a conscience let us make a difference.

The next time we see our friend dropping a coffee cup on the road, lets just pick it up and drop it in the bin. I know it is demeaning, but there is a price to be paid for goodness. Hey Christ died on the cross! You know the friend may feel the prick in his heart and he may not repeat it at least when we are around. The world is tired of sermons and preaching and small acts like these will make a world of difference.

Likewise vote in elections, stop incidents of bribery when you can. The price may be a little heavy but the rewards will eventually be worth it.

Skeptics may argue what difference one act can do, It only takes a spark to get a fire going and soon all those around can warm up in its glowing...... We can make a difference to our self, then to our inner circle of family and friends and gradually the circle widens till it becomes a movement. One man got thrown out of a train in Pietermaritzburg because of his colour he could have laid down but the rest they say is history, not with big deeds but a simple act like using a chakra, taking long marches, being nonviolent....

Think about it, you can change the world,, but it starts with the man in the mirror.....


Thursday, October 05, 2006

R.I.P - Me

I am seriously considering publishing my obituary (when I'm still alive) in the leading dailies and see the reactions it causes. A man is truly wealthy if he is sorely missed by atleast 4 people who are not related to him by birth. I want to know how rich I really am.

I know for sure that my family will shed tears and they will miss me (hopefully) but I wonder how many of my friends and other neighbours I have truly touched. It is ironical that we save up all the compliments pertaining to a person till the funeral, how many times we have refrained from giving it to the person concerned when he was still there with us.

I remember the scene when we had gathered to bid farewell to a cose frien who passed away under very tragic circumstances in the prime of his youth, where I realized what an amazing person he was. It was a truly humbling experience to realize that my friend though not the best of men as per conventinal standards was in fact a true gem among commoners, for he had made a profound impact on so many.

It is scary to think, if I have lived my life in such a way that I have drawn people to me purely out of love and made a success of it. I would love to die to find out and so we return to the start of this post again.....