Thursday, December 11, 2008

Guide to entrepreneurship

Note: This post is my personal comment and it is not intended to hurt anyone.


A gloomy market is like a glass half filled with water. It is either half full or half empty depending on how you look at it. Looking at the option of opportunity can make people believe that this is the time for the entrepreneurial jump.

Now what are the options available? Plenty but something that has spread like wild fire spanning the spectrum from cottage industry size to a multi crore, multi location even spanning continents, and mass employment providing operations is the business of religion. Your read that right, the business of religion is booming like no other and the CAGR if somebody were to do it in absolute numbers would make many hard nosed business men salivate.

But why the business of religion? Simple, for starters you need no investment except oneself, many of the corporations started of f with or by a bright spark. A bright idea and good use of the basic four P’s of Philip Kotler and you have a killer service. The variety of services is mind boggling and I am happy to present a few:

For starters you can teach people to breathe, yes, if you know the better way that is or you can teach people that living can be made an art, not a bad thing after all, pity that this art cannot.

Next you could build an outrageous house of God and to make sure that it is eye catching you can build it as the highest, widest, costliest or in a funky shape or you can plate it in gold and live off the starry eyed tourists who come to gawk at this decadent show of wealth and whose fervent prayer will be to ask divine grace for a bit of the wealth. An entire travel industry has been spawned by these must see places.

You can make your own God or if that is difficult, you can say that God lives in you (you aren’t lying anyway) or even better you can call yourself God or if you a little modest about yourself you can simply say that you are an incarnation of God. It never fails, you can even debate this on TV.

Or you can render fiery speeches and use faith to heal every disease known and unknown, when the movie actors say, “God is great!” with a sad voice to highlight the gravity of a hospital scene you know where it came from.

If healing is not enough you can rent a huge stadium and fill it up with a mega sized troupe of performers singing catchy music and when the fervour is at it height you can probably make people swoon, sometimes the Hand of God may be necessary here to ensure that the people swoon. (With Maradona in the country, I couldn’t resist)

You can make fiery speeches and evoke the hidden fervour of some who embrace the K word and set about setting fire to the world. The K word is of course Kalashnikov the favourite toy of most misguided maniacs. K also is for Kill every non believer.

You can have more discourses and make a big song and dance about it, now with the all invasive media you can talk to every faithful and of course you can tell them the various means to send the funds to aid the cause. By the way you must be immaculately tailored and your suits must at least match up to Mr. Shivraj Patil’s wardrobe.

You can do ceremonies and other activities that no one will understand but will surely give them what they want either a gift from above or reparation for earlier deeds. One such entrepreneur even went to the distance of divining the location of hidden treasure also got 5 women killed in the bargain.

You can build resorts or retreats if you please where you can take a contract from shampoo companies for your extraordinary hair style and do your bit for the propagation of the faith through the multiplication of members by procreation.

You can do something new also…

What are the earning possibilities?
Limitless according to your ability and your ingenuity after all there are so many people who search for the fundamental truth that they already know but refuse to believe, millions more want avenues to wash off their sins and are willing to try something new, some more who like to be with the trend of the day, some who just like to try something new, the list goes on. The chief income stream of course is the humble donations that can be collected from a humble dumb box to start with and then you know. Merchandise is another chief source of income and let me not forget the tickets that are charged to see or have a glimpse of the almighty.

So if you think you have a killer idea and a good USP, go ahead the world awaits…


I leave you with the lyrics of a song by Joan Osbourne, whatever her religious leanings, it is worth a read

If God Was One of Us Lyrics

If God had a name, what would it be
And would you call it to his face
If you were faced with him in all his glory
What would you ask if you had just one question
And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home

If God had a face what would it look like
And would you want to see
If seeing meant that you would have to believe
In things like heaven and in jesus and the saints and all the prophets

And yeah yeah god is great yeah yeah god is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
What if God was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
He's trying to make his way home
Back up to heaven all alone
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

And yeah yeah God is great yeah yeah God is good
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
What if god was one of us
Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make his way home
Just trying to make his way home
Like a holy rolling stone
Back up to heaven all alone
Just trying to make his way home
Nobody calling on the phone
Except for the pope maybe in rome

4 comments:

Trinity said...

hey that was absolutely hilarious especially the benny hinn and premananda !!!

!! Oxymoron !! said...

I dont know what prompted you to write that, but I can sense undercurrents of anger...correct me if I'm wrong! Any of that done purely for the glory of god and the good of mankind is commendable. That said, I wonder about Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar and the likes, who do inspire people, but also, are clad in designer wear and say that God has blessed them with prosperity. Revenues earned from selling their books/tapes I guess. Its all very subjective.

Sowmya Ramesh said...

Well all have a right to their individual views about this comercialization of religion. My take on this would be that there are lot of these godmen moving around in the society. Out of a whole score of them, there are a few who have really done something good and really deserve to be appreciated but the irony is a lot of times these people lose out to their cheaper counterparts.

This really saddens my heart. I dont follow all these modern day gurus but i have read some of the books and listened to the teachings of some of them, trust me theyare really inspiring and have helpledme to take the world and difficult situations headlong.

This again is my personal experience and one day I am definitely going to share my experiences especially with close friends like you who have made life worth living.

Cheers then till ur next entry. I am following ur entries regularly...

Chriz said...

twas funny.. i second trinity.. when you talked abt slaying by fire, i figured out that you were talking abt benny hinn...
and when u mentioned premananda you took me back to my schooldays.. it was a major topic in our school then... lunch time and it was indeed memories revisited..

thank you...
i do have a killer idea.. will share it with you soon.. i have taken a break from the blog world to set some things right on the personal front... will be back on january 1st...
merry christmas... have a great time.. god bless you and ur family this coming year..